Branch Water Tavern: A True Houston Gem

Lead by up-and-coming Executive Chef David Grossman, this quaint and unassuming Houston gastronomic treasure is worth the three times you'll have to circle the block to find it.

I visited on a Tuesday evening around 7:30 as a prelude to catching a flick over at the River Oaks Theater. It wasn't too crowded. We were seated right away without any reservation, which was nice but could also be a red flag. The hostess was enthusiastic and really upsold the "fantastically extensive" wine and cocktail menu. Which, by the way, includes over 100 different whiskeys.

So, I started out with a glass of W.L. Weller Special Reserve, on the rocks. You really can't go wrong with Weller or Makers. If you're ever unsure of which whiskey to choose and either of these are on the list, you can basically eenie-meanie-minie-moe it and you'll be safe. I went with Weller though because it just felt right.

For appetizers, we decided to try the duck liver mousse with onion jam and the prosciutto-wrapped arugula rolls. Before those came out, they brought us warm mini biscuits with butter and mildly spiced habanero jam. Probably one of the more unique and spot-on combos I've ever had in a bread plate.

The arugula rolls were so-so. The zesty taste of the arugula against the saltiness of the prosciutto were a winning combo, but the dish still felt like it was missing something. The duck liver mousse, on the other hand, was insane. Perfection in presentation, texture and flavor. It was served with thinly cut baked french bread with sweet pickles, spicy dijon mustard and onion jam. I, for one, was not a fan of the onion jam, so it stayed in its corner like the misfit of the meal it was and remained unconsumed. Luckily, the duck liver mousse was so good on its own that it didn't need a meddling accomplice anyway.

Quite pleased with the first course, we moved onto the main course and wine selection. I decided to go with the Bielsa Garnacha "Vinas Viejas" Campo de Borja, Spain 2008. I've always been a fan of a good Grenache and this one sounded promising. It didn't disappoint. A tad over-alcoholic at uncorking, we let it breathe for about 15 minutes and Voilà! It came to life and delivered more gusto than we ever could have expected upon first sip.

For our main courses, I chose the seared scallops with butternut squash agnolotti, black trumpets and brown butter. My dining companion got the berkshire pork chop with collard greens, pimento cheese polenta and grain mustard jus. I may or may not have chosen that dish for him. What!? I can't help it! I wanted to try both! And boy am I glad I did.

First of all, I don't think I've ever had better scallops in my life. And I've had a LOT of scallops. They were pan seared perfectly. You can tell the chef continued to douse them in a white wine reduction throughout the quick but precise cooking process. Anyone who has ever had to prepare a scallop knows it's no easy feat. The trumpets and brown butter sauce were incredible. Every bite was like a symphony of flavor in my mouth. That sounded a bit too food porn-ish. Sorry. But you get the picture.

The pork chops were just as divine if not more so. Whoever thought of putting a pimento cheese polenta with a mustard jus is a genius. The two flavors complimented each other seemlessly. The chop was absolutely perfectly cooked. A little bit of a seared crust on top and deliciously moist and warm in the center. (Again with the food porn - sorry - I can't help myself.) I've never been a huge fan of collard greens, but in this dish - they work.

Needless to say, we both cleaned our plates. In fact, I think our server may have caught onto the fact that I was seriously contemplating licking mine. That thought passed after I remembered I was in public, so I went back to quietly sipping my wine and reveling in a feeling of total satisfaction and victory.

Too blissfully stuffed to even consider eating dessert (which, in retrospect, we probably should have at least tried something so I'd have something to write here other than, uh... um... yeah) we finished our wine and away we went. What was meant to maybe be an hour long meal ended up almost making us late for our 9:30 movie. But hey - as long as you're late for a good reason, all is forgiven. And in this case, Branch Water Tavern was definitely reason enough.

*Branch Water Tavern is located at 510 Shepherd Drive, Houston, TX 77007

Wahoo's, In 'N Out, 'n More...

As a somewhat recent re-transplant into Texas from California (sure, I was born here in the Lone Star State, but after living in Los Angeles for five years, coming back home was like re-learning a language I hadn't spoken in a decade) it's baffling to me how many upper crust fast food restaurants are starting to pour in from California.

For example, a few weeks ago I was driving down Lamar in Austin and noticed a Wahoo's Fish Tacos truck. I had to do a double take because I had no idea they'd landed in Texas. My immediate thought was that they'd gone on some transcontinental journey in the Taco Truck, but their new residence here in Austin was confirmed when they joined the ranks of the local food stands at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. And to my delight, the tacos were as spicy and well prepared as always, even in an over-crowded outdoor venue filled with ravenously hungry festival goers.

Another big development in "Cali Cuisine Gone Country" - a notoriously unwilling to expand family-owned burger chain with more than just a cult following is knocking on the Texas border. If you haven't heard, In 'N Out Burger - the California burger joint famous for not only its burgers, but for its T-shirts depicting scenes from a 1960s drive-in diner version of itself - is coming to Texas. That's right! They're building one in Dallas. Er, well, just outside of Dallas. Who can tell what's actually considered Dallas anymore anyway? Technically, I think it's in Garland, TX.

When asked if he was excited about the soon-to-be-open restaurant, here are the words of Maxwell Fischer, a city of Garland employee who worked with the developer on the project:

“I don’t know, I’m kind of a food snob,” he says. “I’ll probably be disappointed. But, we’ll see.”

Food snob??? And you live in Garland??? Did I miss something here? This guy probably has never been to and doesn't even have a clue what a Michelin-rated restaurant is and he calls himself a "food snob." Get real.

All I have to say to you, Mr. Fischer, is that if you are "disappointed" in this burger while considering in all fairness it is, indeed, a FAST FOOD BURGER, you are a moron who has no taste and deserve to have your tongue removed. Or spend the rest of your life eating ammonia-treated, processed cow parts at McDonald's. Not sure which is worse.

But that's just my opinion...

'N More: [Editor Revision] Did you know that Freebirds World Burrito started in Isla Vista, CA? Five more stores are slated to open throughout Southern California by the end of this year, but they gained their notoriety in Texas, primarily stemming from their College Station location, which opened in 1991. And here I thought that was a 'Texas Thing'... Guess ya never know when it comes to the TexaCali interchange.